Below is a list of Official unauthorized Nuraw Blooze Merchandise.
Orders can be placed by mail, email, fax, telex, phone or bellow.
Please specify size, quantity and colour with your order.
Prices do not include appropriate or exorbitant Provincial and
Federal Sales Tax, shipping, packing, assessing, reviewing,
auditing, test driving, and/or mocking of choices made.
Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for delivery.
Traditional Baseball Style Cap, in white cottony stuff with stiffer
blue cottony stuff for the sun shady part. Featuring embroidered
image of Jethro T. Nuraw, hand stitched by our competent staff
of underpaid migrant children.
Available in the following colours:
- White with Blue Peak (shown)
- Blue with white peak (like the one shown, but different)
- Light Blue with Dark blue Peak
- Dark Blue with Light Blue Peak
- Turquoise (not really blue, but it's pretty close)
- Midnight Blue with Baby Blue Peak
- Robin Egg Blue with Sky Blue Peak (only available in Springtime)
- Navy Blue with another cool blue, sort of like sky blue, but darker, peak
- Black
Price: $9.99 each
$99 per dozen
$999 per gross
Metal Travel Mug, keeps your beer cold, and your coffee hot.
(how does know which is which???)
Available in brushed Alunminum with hand painted logo and image:
$9.99 each
Rugged, waterproof, stainproof, spittleproof, 80 proof windshirt.
Perfect for that late November evening in a downtown gutter.
When you've lost your job, your family, your friends, your dog, your
money, and can't even play the blues because your harmonica was
stolen and you hawked your guitar strings, you'll be glad your wearing
this stylish and weather protective garment.
Available in the following colours:
- Downtrodden Blue
- No-will-to-live Blue
- The rats, they are so lucky Blue
- Cold wind blew my change away Blue
- Wish the sky wasn't cloudy all day Blue
- I'd trade my kingdom for a new harmonica Blue
- If I had a bullet I'd shoot myself, if I had a gun, Blue
In sizes from XXS to 5XL
$49.99 each
For the homemaker who thinks she has everything, here's a
handy new appliance ... it's a two in one mixer / MP3 player.
Loaded with dozens of top Nuraw Blooze hits from the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s,
60s, 70s, and 90s (we didn't do a lot of good stuff in the 80s),
it randomly plays a song every time you turn it on.
$299.99 each
Optional accessories, such as the two in one garburator / subwoofer,
or the DC adapter with built in handcream dispenser, sold separately.
State of the art satellite transmitter / receiver, including 1 year subscription to
BloozeSat, our ever popular 24 hour Nuraw Blooze satellite broadcast
featuring footage of our most popular concerts, new and old, as well as
live webcam broadcast of our current band members, as well as a few of our
more lovely fans. Features include rapid scan, simultaneous multi satellite
monitoring, and our newest feature, the unauthorized broadcast mode,
with remote activation switch and self contained webcam,
allowing us to see just what our fans are up to.
Base Model: $999
Advanced model, with nipple search: $4,999
When you get so blue that you just have to go and cut somthing down, why not
use our proven leader in the art of linear cellular separation. With all the features of
more expensive models, our saw will cut through limbs like a Son of a Birch.
Featuring the one touch reverse mode, handy when you get just a little bit too
aggresive, this model should suit all but the most pathological choppers.
Great for use at home and office, and fun at parties too.
Priced at $499 each
SPECIAL OFFER: Matching pair of left and right handed models,
for the ambidextrously endowed.
$949 pr.
Finally, the John Deere Nuraw Blooze model has arrived.
Due to the extraordinary volume of pre-ordering, shipping may take
a couple of weeks more than usual.
Featuring a six speaker surround sound system, and 200 CD auto changer
this mower will make cutting your lawn a pleasure. With 48hp and a Doug Nash
six speed transmission, it boasts a 0-60 time of 4.2 seconds, while maintaining
a smooth, even cut that will make your lawn the envy of the neighbourhood.
Also included is the new and improved chopper / mulcher / masher / pulverizer
which will provide fast and effieient dispersal of cuttings, twigs, blood or other
evidence. Turbocharger optional.
Priced at $6,999
Great news for all you anglers out there.
Now you can fish in style, in the custom designed 6 metre
Nuraw Blooze bass boat, with 200 hp outboard engine. Each boat
is personaly hand signed by some of the members of the band,
(or their duly unauthorized personal hand signing doubles.) and
comes with a catalog of extraordinary fish photos with your
face photographically added, for an endless supply of fish stories.
Priced at $32,400
or
$388,800 per dozen.
